your parents love me but you hate me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
