so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
