i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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