She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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