yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
