you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
