using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
