I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
