absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
