Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
