none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
