highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
