If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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