You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
