I think my vagina is haunted
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
