I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
