remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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