Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize