Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
