I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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