I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am in a vortex of obligation.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize