its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize