She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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