Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
