Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
