we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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