I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She has the best kind of daddy issues
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
