god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I got chris browned last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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