The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize