So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize