do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
