omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we're making bets on your personal life
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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