Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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