i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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