Sry I called you an 8
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize