Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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