i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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