Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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