There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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