as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
