i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
