dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
