my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she peed on how many people?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
