We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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