I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
