So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
