going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
