i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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