as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
