well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
