my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
