they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize