We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you never un-have a 4some
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
