i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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