The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh god it's open bar.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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