I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
