Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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