but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
