i wish semen tasted like chocolate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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