who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
