let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
