Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize