My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
