it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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