found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
